On Friendship

I had surgery a few days ago, and while recovery has gone as well as possible, I’m still pretty limited in what I can do. As someone who’s usually stuck in overdrive and working constantly, being stuck in my house and unable to lift my arms above my shoulders or pick up anything more than fifteen pounds is like hell on earth for me. Allyn has been a hell of a trooper throughout, but he still has his own life to live and the tremendous shift of responsibility has taken a toll on him.

My friends have been absolute rock stars and made the wait bearable for both of us. One took the pup for a few days while we were across the state for surgery, and returned her to us thoroughly exhausted (if you know our dog, or any Australian Cattle Dog, you’d know that this is quite the feat). My childhood best friend spent a couple of days here, during which she washed all our dishes, did all our laundry, and cleaned our entire kitchen. She’ll also be driving me back across the state on Tuesday for my post-op appointment. The Opera Singer came by last night to cook us dinner and keep us company.

These are the days I’m reminded that I’ve done something right with my life. I was a bit worried about the post-op situation. Many of my friends have gone home to their biological families, at least for the initial phase, but I haven’t even told my mother I had surgery and my father wished me the best but reminded me of his disappointment. But my community ties are stronger than I’d realized, and today I’ll be spending my internet hours searching for gifts that encapsulate the gratitude I can’t find the words to express.

The coming months of recovery will be frustrating for me as I’m forced to learn the meaning of “taking it easy.” But the love of my chosen family makes the struggle that much easier.


Fucksmithing 101

Admit it, it’s just a spectacular word. Inspired by the tradesman of the Oglaf universe, I consider myself a hobbyist fucksmith. I put in my fair share of volunteer hours and doggedly work towards perfecting my craft.

Or maybe I’m just a slut.

I also spend a lot of time reading and thinking. In general, I keep my opinions to myself unless asked, but I’m ready to change that policy. If nothing else and if no one else’s eyes ever grace this page, it’ll be a way for me to track how my beliefs evolve over time.

Unsurprisingly, I’ll write primarily about sex and kink, but don’t be surprised when intersectional themes appear too. I’m planning to weigh in on the debates I see in the poly, kinky, and sex-positive communities rather than just observe from the sidelines. I always have a lot to say but often wind up hitting the “discard” button at the end of my post. Now I’ll try hitting “publish” instead.